Day 4

"As for God his way is perfect;

The Lord's word is flawless;

He shields all who take refuge in Him.

For who is God besides The Lord?

And who is the rock besides our God?

It is God who arms me with strength

And keeps my ways secure."

Psalm 18:30-32

     I truly believe that there is no way to live apart from God.  He is in everything and extends his hands to everything.  The things of this world are too interconnected and too many things came from a one in a million chance to not believe that.  Some might look at me and say, oh all this talk about God giving her strength is just a religious way of saying she is growing up and is learning how to make it on her own.  I will tell you why they are wrong.  

     There is a human characteristic in all of us that wants to satisfy ourselves and to stay comfortable.  We enjoy living our life in the places we want, with the people we want, and in the manner we want.  That is all okay, unless there is an outside force that you were specifically designed to work for, not 9-5 work, but life giving, eternal work.  I explained earlier in a condensed way that I believe in this outside force; therefore I cannot live in a way that only satisfies myself but in a way that honors my maker (the same way we long to honor our parents).  

     What I want readers to understand is that this trip is against my will and against my human characteristics of wanting to be comfortable.  No that is not something I enjoy saying but I want people to see that this is how far I would go for something that is true; you need to see the truth in this.  God is real, and yes God is the one giving me the strength to do this so that I can do good work here.  He is a good God who, yes, might make one person feel uncomfortable in order to make dozens more experience the freedom and goodness of living in Him.  I guess that is why I risk my comfort, that's why I cut all securities.  I want everyone to know this Truth, because it is true, the truth will set you free...

Day 2: Old Feelings

     Today was my second day in La Republica Dominicana.  Lets just say my body has a lot of adjusting to do.  There probably wasn't one minute in the day where I wasn't sweating or fighting off the millions of Mosquitos!  There is something about this island though that draws me in.
     To be honest, I am pushing through those old feelings again.  The feelings of wanting the ones I love and not being able to have them.  I am holding it together though, I am trusting in God's plans.  I just have to believe that He wants me right here where I am.
     So God, please continue to provide me with strength to do this.  I am so scared of failing you again.  Help me to remember the love and courage you poured into me these previous weeks so that I might fulfill this call. I need you God and cannot do this on my own.  This is not about what comforts me, this is about obeying you and that is what I am going to do.  Amen.

Day 1: New faces, New Places

I arrived and I am safe.  Besides that my tired body will be resigning for the night.

Mi nueva familia.

La ciudad Santiago.

Departure: TOMORROW

Today is officially my last day here before I go abroad and learn a whole new culture for 42 days!

>>GRATEFUL.  More than anything right now I am feeling grateful.  I am so thankful to even get a chance like this.  Most people my age don't get to do things like this, but with so much support from so many people it was made possible.

>>PROTECTED.  I feel weirdly at ease about all of this.  I thought this week would be hard because I had to say bye to all of my friends, but more than anything I feel covered in prayer.  Thank you everyone who is praying for me, because honestly I feel it 100%.

>>FEARLESS.  Initially I wanted God to speak to me in big ways this week pouring wisdom into me and filling me with guidance..  None of that happened.  What did happen was God's beauty was revealed.  All he did was show me his beauty in the everyday things around me reminding me that His presence was the only thing I needed.  I didn't need more words to satisfy my inner soul.  I needed my maker to show me he is with me still.  For me that looked like watching the sun set in the sky and enjoying laughter shared with my beautiful sister.  Those things were glimpses of God's presence to me.  I am feeling full of happiness that could only come from God and ultimately fearless knowing that the same God who creates sunsets, is creating my story all the while.

The Voice of Truth

     For some reason running has always been a spiritual thing for me.  It's either think about the pain that is jolting through my calves or try to use this time for prayer and thinking.  In most cases I tend to chose the latter option because, well that option sounds more delightful!  Being back home, I have stepped back into the grove of going running every once in a while down some streets by my house.  This actually does wonders for my relationship with God.  I love seeing wide open fields with rows of corn, herds of cattle roaming through tall, green grass, breathing the fresh, crisp air, and most of all... the moment a cloud barely moves away and the sun has full reign over the entire sky, like God is saying "bask in my beauty, if only for just a moment!"
 

     I was running just the other day and the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns came on.  The chorus says:

But the voice of truth tells me a different story.  The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"  The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory."  Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.  

 If you have read any of my other blog posts you might could guess why this song spoke to me so much.  This song talks about when Jesus called out to Peter to walk on water.  "To step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, and he's holding out his hands."  It was the moment when Peter had to trust Jesus, when there wasn't the boat to hold him up anymore or sail to keep his direction.  In-fact, it was even worse than just losing all objects of stability, it was stepping out into stormy waters with crashing waves, and dark rumbling clouds.   I imagine myself being Peter and physically being able to reach out for Jesus' hand and grab hold of it.  How beautiful a scene of what trust in Jesus is supposed to look like.

     So as I was running and the song was growing more powerful, and I felt the actual voice of truth seeping into my thoughts, the grande finale came.  As the words "Do not be afraid" rang into my ear buds with power, the clouds separated in the sky and the sun shone through them like great golden rays in that very instant.  That is God.  You look at something as beautiful as the sun peaking around white clouds in the open blue, country sky and you will believe that there is a God.  One that fills you with strength and builds you up in courage.  One that won't call you out onto the water without already being one step ahead with an outstretched arm.  Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.  I think that voice of truth is telling me, I am strong and I am ready.  What is it telling you?

About My Blog

Hello interested reader,

     My name is Emily and my goal is that at the end of reading this blog you will have a reinvented view of who our God is.   I want to share with you my inner most thoughts not for the sole purpose of sharing, but to inspire you to dig into the true reality of your beliefs, Christian or not.  I started this blog out of a need to share with people the ways that God was playing an active role in my life.  

     For beginners, I am an average college student working on a degree in Bilingual Education just trying to find Jesus in a "self-help" kind of world.  Over the past semester God has led me to an amazing opportunity to seek out his Kingdom in the Dominican Republic.  I am scared, I am delighted, I am nervous, but I am fearless all at the same time because I am trusting in a God who desires to bring about love and goodness to every inch of His created humanity.  

     I hope that you will stay on this page a little while and dwell in God's great doings.  If this all seems a little too far fetched for you, I ask that you give me a chance.  I won't push a belief on you but I will ask that you be open to mine in order to evaluate its truthfulness without the usual walls that have been put up against it.  So buckle up and join me as I search out finding the freedom that comes with being a believer in God and what that truly means.  Let the journey begin!

Xoxo,

Emily

Our Relational, Loving, and Sacrificial God

     T-minus three weeks until departure!!  I have been thinking lately of how to even begin preparing myself for this trip like what books I want to read before I go, and what things I need to start preparing myself for.  I quickly realized that preparing myself is a God-sized task and definitely not an Emily-the one who is brain dead from finals-size task.  I do want to think about my preparation in three ways, though.  Past: our past can be a testimony to God's existence, present: we are currently loved by the King of Kings, & future: we will give our everything to one who gave everything to get to us.  Maybe after looking into these three categories I can come to know God's true character and take that with me. I encourage you to try this also.

PAST.  HE WANTS RELATIONSHIP WITH US.

The Administration Building at Texas A&M.

     The past, even though a bumpy last year, helps me to see that God actually played an active role in my life.  Since I know he has worked in my life by seeing it this past year, I can be certain that God will continue to do it right now and to be faithful to that in the upcoming weeks.  God I pray that you use my past as a testimony to your existence.  Would you help me to pinpoint the things that you did for me so that I might use those things to speak highly of you and to point others towards you.  Amen.

PRESENT.  GOD LOVES US.

The Emily of today.

     I believe that we get into a mindset that God loves some future version of us.  I believe this because I catch myself doing it all the time.  "Oh one day when I am living in a village being a missionary, raising 5 children, being supermom, and saving the world, then maybe God will love me a whole lot..."  That's an insane way to think and not at all true!  God loves us exactly how we are right now, even without looking at our potential.  So God I pray that you would help me to maintain an unshakable identity in you that focuses on the person that you have made me to be so far.  I believe that you love the Emily of today without even looking at the Emily of tomorrow.  Amen.

FUTURE.  GOD SACRIFICED FOR US.

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

     As for the future, well I can't do this for the kids that I hope to serve because it might take them a long time to understand and I can get worn out.  I also can't do this for me because I am going to mess up a whole lot along the way...  But if I love God, I will do this for him.  And one day maybe he will say well done good and faithful servant.  I will give my everything to the one who gave everything to get to me.  That seems to be the most logical thing to do.  God I pray that you begin to prepare the hearts of those I will come in contact with for your word and that you would prepare my heart for sharing that with them.  Have your way in me.  Amen.