It was at the moment when I allowed all my weaknesses to consume my mind that I thought, I can't do this. I can't fail again.
You see two summers ago I felt called to serve at a christian camp for the summer. It was enough ways from home where I wouldn't get to see family or friends that often, but I thought I could sum up enough strength to push through the summer. It wasn't but 24 hours of being there that I was looking at the steering wheel of my car, driving out of that camp in tears because I knew I couldn't find the strength in myself. God revealed his will to me and I failed at completing it.
This experience has haunted me ever since. I have a calling on my heart though, and that is I want so bad to serve the children of God in other countries. When I came across the opportunity to go to the Dominican Republic, I pushed it to the side and didn't really think about it too much. I reminded myself of the time I failed, then quickly threw the pamphlet into my junk drawer. I continued to keep searching for things to do in the upcoming summer that would be cool, life changing, and you guessed it, close to home. Nothing was working out and nothing felt right though. One day I came across the Dominican Republic pamphlet again and started flipping through it. I started realizing the control that I let my previous experience have on my life and I didn't like it. God started to pour verses about strength and freedom into my heart and I couldn't help but feel like he was prompting me to take a leap of faith. After a series of crazy twists and turns of getting paperwork signed, making appointments, and getting accepted to the program, I knew without a doubt that this was God's will for me.
I failed the first time and my weakness was revealed to me. My weakness controlled my decisions and ultimately my relationship with God. I can't let it anymore. This has gone too far and I am ready for God to cut the chains that bind me from what I am supposed to be. So with that being said, I am calling this one the fight for my freedom...
